i got this tiny picture from a girl's friendster. i guess she is ben's number one fan. anywaysss... i guess every sunday they would advertised it. i thought those on papers looked better. hahahahaha

cj's not one who blog at this hour. okay... and so i am not willing to sleep. i hate it to know that i will wake up seeing daybreak. i'm dragging myself. i feel like screaming my lungs out. its more than frustrations. i felt so helpless each time. crying seems like sucha loser. its the pressure. many many times i tell myself this is nothing compared to what i have previously overcomed. gradually, my home has become the only place i wanted to be in. prolly is my family. they are the only ones which are irreplacable. i wanna spend more time with them. i felt ultra safe around them. its the unconditional support they gave to keep me going. i've this silly thought that i wanna the four of us to stay like this together forever. and i prayed the rough times will go away soon.

bah!! i have this huge zit even concealer does not come in to help. dampening my mood a little further. facial is a must. losing weight is a need. the CJ i once knew seems to be drifting away. i am chasing my collar bone back.

i am gonna wake up at the right side of bed tomorrow morning!